Swimming anyone?

We were having a lovely time. Really. The new Ocean hotel and spa at Butlins Bognor Regis was fab. The food was good. The girls were having the time of their little lives. Alexandra (5) managed a high five with Hannah Montana. It was really Kelly Brazil parading as Hannah Montana, but it is the closest my daughter will ever get to the teen mega star. She was walking on the moon.

Looking back, there was really no way to avoid Splash Waterworld -- Butlins swimming pool that has a gazillion water slides and play structures. The girls had seen it in the TV adverts and in the brochure. It's one of the reasons they were excited to go to Butlins. I had my doubts. I'm not a huge fan of public swimming pools. Anytime you mix lots of children with water there is sure to be a disaster.

I planned our visit carefully: we would visit the pool right when it opened -- 10 am -- and that would give us enough time to splash around before the day visitors were allowed in at noon.

We put on our swimming costumes under our clothes and were there smack when the pool opened. We got our tokens for the lockers and picked a family changing room that wasn't locked. Oops. Sorry. I really didn't need to see that. Next one. Ah, better. I stuffed all our things into two lockers and put in my token. The key wouldn't move. Wouldn't even budge. Honey, you try it. I spotted an attendant. Excuse me. Could you please help get this key out? Thanks!

What's that smell? Can't quite place it...  oh, well, it's pleasant enough... oddly reassuring...

We walked through the room of showers and entered the sprawling set of interlinked pools, the volume an echoing 10 octaves than the changing area. I suddenly felt damp. Next to us was a spraying climbing structure. It looked a bit, er, aged. The girls quickly took off.

Children and adults were everywhere. So much for my plan. I made my way through the water. Ew, what's that? A hairband? Harmless enough. I had an odd feeling of being a bit out of place, like turning up in jeans to what I thought was a BBQ but was really a dinner party and everyone else was wearing little black dresses. Then I realised hubby and I were the only ones without tattoos. You could get a real education on tattoos here. That one must have hurt. How in the world did someone manage to imprint that there? What is that? 

I want to go on that one! Emily (7) exclaimed pointing to a large blue tube winding around the building. I knew she wouldn't make the height requirements. How about that one? I pointed to a white slide next to us.The queue has already started and we joined it on the stairs.

After the slide, Emily tried to swim into the adjoining deep water pool, but was stopped by four life guards mouthing no and shaking their fingers. A horrid thought crossed my mind, but then I reassured myself that maybe they needed the section for a swim lesson.

We went on the slide again and then one of the smaller slides.  Then a friendly man with I (heart) Mum tattooed on his left bulging tricep passed and said to stay away from there -- "a kid poo'd."

I froze. Did he just say a kid poo'd? Why haven't they closed the pool?! In California everyone would have to be out for the rest of the day while they poured in tons of chemicals to combat god knows what.

A lifeguard, armed with a pail in one hand, and a long sieve in another, was fishing in the pool trying to get something out.

I shot hubby a look and he got the kids while I talked with another lifeguard. The man who loved his mother was right -- A kid poo'd.

Don't you need to close the pool?

Yes, we close this area and the chlorine does its work.

But all the pools are interconnected.

That was enough for me, we were outta there.

Under great protest, I might add.

As I struggled with the locker again, it came to me. The smell. School washrooms. Dettol.

And in my mind there is absolutely nothing wrong with a little bleach. In fact, we went home and took a bath in it.

Photo credit: silvaazniv

Comments

[zooarchaeologist]

I'm so glad I avoided the pool at Butlins. I too have a fear of public swimming pools, I am convinced some people go there instead of washing. Eurrk!

[Tim Atkinson]

Uuurgghhh! And people tell me swimming in the sea isn't healthy...

[English Mum]

Ew, ew, EW!!! I thought it was bad enough when you swim into a big clump of hair, but a big clump of poo? Bleurgh.

[A Modern Mother]

Zoo -- I wish we had skipped it, and to be honest there is so much to do there it wouldn't have made a difference.

Tim -- I would swim in the sea either, or the Thames...

[A Modern Mother]

English Mum -- yep, not pleasant really

[Expat Mum]

Ugh! Mind you, it's the shower area where you can really come a cropper with all those ugly warty things growing on people's feet. Aagghh!

[Muddling Along Mummy]

Euck ... although the smell of detol is strangely comforting

[A Modern Mother]

Expat -- As I said, I'm not a huge fan of public swimming pools...

MAM -- exactly!

[Andrea]

Urgh! Though maybe not as bad a kiddie poo-ing in a ball pit we were at once!!! Ha Ha! Mind the brown ball kids!!!

[Maternal Tales]

I'm reading these the wrong way round...just off to read the other Butlins post. Yes, yes, Splash Waterworld was a little icky, to sy the least - but obviously not that icky (we went there twice). Luckily we didn't come accross any poo, but we did encounter a few second-hand plasters...

[TooManyHats]

ICK!!! That is so totally gross. I am glad you left promptly.

[blueskyhi]

Ooooh, I'm glad we have a pool at home and I know exactly what and who have been in it!!

[A Modern Mother]

Andrea -- that might be worse

Maternal -- The things you do for your kids!

TooMany -- no other choice really

Bluesky -- lucky you!

[Liz]

Just would like to add my Ewwws to all the other Ewwws... poo in the pool, gross gross gross.

[Woman Who Can]

That's just wrong!And a sieve? Even wrongerer.

[SingleParentDad]

We enjoyed Splashdown, but didn't encounter any floaters.

An ex-pool attendant friend of mine,can regale stories of fishing out pooh and sick in a net, apparently leaving the chemicals to rid all the dangerous stuff, bar the stench.

Not sure how I would react if the same happened to us.

[Snafflesmummy]

ewwwww gorss. i am so glad i dont do public pools!

[Alpha Mummy Jen]

I've never seen poo but i have the same "flee!" reaction whenever there's a floating plaster. ick.

[rockwool walls]

I posted your article to my myspace profile.

Regards

[pool sauna]

Very simply, a pool cover will give you peace of mind. This is because the coverage can be a very effective barrier against a child entering the pool, while unsupervised. Although we always try to see our children around the pool, there are many cases of children drown each year while they were kept.