So, picture this scene: Four mums at my house having coffee. It's a blustery morning, leaves falling, and we are in my garden room, which is the only room I will receive anyone, as the rest of the house is a complete tip. One mum has a PhD and lectures at the local business school. One is a self-employed barrister, another an ex-Andersen consultant. I have the least impressive credentials as an ex-Marketing director. Our mission? To discuss the lunch time supervisor rota (aka dinner lady) and to induct a new mum. You see, the more mums on the rota, the FEWER TIMES you have to do it yourself.
The new mum on the rota is the barrister. With her first child in reception, she is very keen to figure out how the school works. She has a notepad and is taking copious notes.
"If cook yells at you, try not to worry too much about it. She's a bit grumpy sometimes."
"You'll need to figure out when to call in the other classes. Don't worry if you get muddled, it took me two years to figure it out."
"Don't wear nice clothes -- you'll need a shower when you're done."
"You need to scrape off the baked beans and other rubbish into a bowl, and then lug it back to the kitchen." (see pic)
The new mum was looking down, and her note taking slowed down. I could tell she was re-evaluating her decision to help. We quickly took another tact:
"It's fun. Really."
"You'll know what your child is eating."
"You'll have rock star status. The kids will love you."
I'm not sure we persuaded her.
So do you have what it takes to be a dinner lady?
I think the noise would be too much for me, to be honest!
Posted by: Rosie Scribble | 12 November 2009 at 02:13 PM
Can't I just give me kid a mobile phone and the number for Sushi express?
Posted by: Metropolitan Mum | 12 November 2009 at 02:23 PM
Well, unless I work really hard at it - my arms are definite dinner lady potential. Otherwise probably not. (I might know the ex barrister and ex Andersen ladies.)
Posted by: Expat Mum | 12 November 2009 at 02:50 PM
They have parents lunch week at my boy's school. Eating with him once a term is enough for me.
Posted by: SingleParentDad | 12 November 2009 at 02:59 PM
Do you have to wear a hair net? That would be a no go for me.
Posted by: TooManyHats | 12 November 2009 at 03:02 PM
Just the thought of the smell of school dinners makes me gag. you are all braver women than I.
Posted by: Heather | 12 November 2009 at 03:04 PM
Roise -- the noise I can handle, it's the smell...
Met -- that would be nice!
Expat -- you just might!
SPD-- How cute! Do you eat school dinners, or do oyu bring your own packed lunch?
Too many-- no, thank god
Heather -- gagging does happen
Posted by: A Modern Mother | 12 November 2009 at 03:44 PM
Hell no! Just the smell of school dinners (although it's been a long while sinec I've had to endure that) is enough to make me heave.
Posted by: Vic | 12 November 2009 at 04:15 PM
Vic -- try heaping all the leftovers into a big pot and then lugging it into the kitchen... uughhh
Posted by: A Modern Mother | 12 November 2009 at 04:33 PM
Would love to say that I could, but I just don't think I can. The smell...
Posted by: Brit In Bosnia | 12 November 2009 at 05:16 PM
Brit -- really, it's not that bad ;-)
Posted by: A Modern Mother | 12 November 2009 at 05:37 PM
Blimey I would have loved an induction to my dinner duty. I just turned up, hung around feeling like a spare part, and helped kids open packets (and once or twice nearly couldn't manage the plastic, which would have been serious humiliation).
I think you're 180 degree about turn was a good strategy. You nearly lost the new recruit there...
Posted by: Iota | 12 November 2009 at 06:12 PM
Iota -- I didn't have an induction either -- perhaps that was better ;-)
Posted by: A Modern Mother | 12 November 2009 at 06:24 PM
Dinner Ladys rule the playground with an iron fist, MaxiMad told me he had been forced to hold the dinner lady's hand after dinner as he had been naughty - "she held me really hightly for over 100 seconds and I wont be bad again". I was supprised he told me at all. Your school is very classy, ours would be
Ex till operator
Recovering Alcoholic
Unemployeed no 1
Posted by: TheMadHouse | 12 November 2009 at 06:46 PM
Mad House -- the kids at school have to raise their hand to ask if they can eat there pudding. I always tell them to at least try their veggies ... is that mean?
Posted by: A Modern Mother | 12 November 2009 at 07:53 PM
Rock star status I could deal with - scraping congealed baked beans and old leftovers into a bowl I could not!
Posted by: Muummmeeeee! | 13 November 2009 at 09:28 AM
Mummeee -- unfortuantley the two go hand in hand...
Posted by: A Modern Mother | 13 November 2009 at 01:26 PM
"You'll know what your kids are eating".
I think I'd rather not know, and assume they are eating everything dutifully....
Posted by: nappyvalleygirl | 13 November 2009 at 05:09 PM
One sniff of the skin on custard or gravy and I'd be out of there quicker than you could say: "bingo wings".
Posted by: Linda | 13 November 2009 at 06:30 PM
Nappy -- good point, some things are best left to the imagination...
Linda... gross
Posted by: A Modern Mother | 14 November 2009 at 07:10 AM
Ewwww, no thank you! Why do Mums have to do this? Surely the school should employ proper lunchtime staff - the two schools I work in do.
Posted by: Caroline | 14 November 2009 at 12:56 PM
Sorry, Susanna, just re-read my comment - not suggesting you are 'im'proper staff at all!!!
Posted by: Caroline | 14 November 2009 at 01:05 PM
You know what I love about this post? The whole picture of barristers and beans!
Do you think this discussion has ever happened with a group of professional men?
Which reminds me, anyone know any good daddy bloggers.
troutiesblog@hotmail.co.uk
Posted by: Troutie | 14 November 2009 at 08:58 PM
So brave! I do not have what it takes, I think. No hot lunches here, though.
Posted by: Mwa | 16 November 2009 at 09:21 PM