A Modern Mother

It must be a girl thing

I can remember the origin of nearly every piece of clothing I have ever owned. I discovered this amazing ability as I was looking through a photo album my mother made me for Christmas last year. The cover is a photo of me in 2nd grade wearing a homemade red high neck blouse with white smocking. I clearly remember pouring through Butterick catalogue looking for the pattern.

Next page and it's 1980 and I'm wearing a blue peasant skirt, knee length with three layers of complementing calico material separated by a blue ribbon. Peasant skirts were very popular at the time. I think my sister made it without a pattern (she's very talented my sister).

Do you book club?

Barring my dry spell, I have always belonged to a book club, sometimes several at the same time. I find them fascinating. When it comes down to it, a book club is an excuse to get together with other adults and talk about something other than children.  Have I sold you yet?

They come in all shapes and sizes. My first one was really high brow. We read novels like Pride and Prejudice, Atlas Shrugged and Beijing Comma. Each member championed a book, and the meetings had a university lecture feel to them. I was kicked out for making everyone read We Need To Talk About Kevin. It turned out no one really wanted to talk about Kevin.

Dear dog walker

Dear dog walker,

Thank you for not cleaning up after your dog this morning.

My four-year-old, wearing her new Mary Janes, stepped in the big blob just as we got to the schoolgate. It got all over her tights, and her book bag. Then it got all over my tights, and my book bag. It kept spreading. That was one big blob. Do you mind if I ask what you feed your dog?

We decided it would be best to detox the four-year-old at home. She was a bit distressed, as this would make her late for the register. I wanted to send a note explaining why four-year-old was late, but she would have nothing of it. She was too embarrassed.

Thanks again,

Your eternally grateful neighbour

Photo credit

Will the next election be won at the schoolgate?

A few mummy bloggers (me, Alpha Mummy, Potty Mummy, NixdMinx, and Karen from The Rubbish Diet) will be chatting today about our take on David Cameron's appearance on Mumsnet. So if you have a few spare minutes before school pickup, and want to add your two cents, head on over the Times' Alpha Mummy blog and let 'er rip. The event starts at 1.45.

UPDATE: After a slow start (and mummy bloggers proclaiming pot noodles as the new biscuit) Cameron finally appeared on Mumsnet and answered a few select questions on topics such as childcare vouchers (a keeper); schools (and plans to "bust up" the state monopoly); special needs (an end to school closures); and family tax (eliminate the couples penalty tax). He did of course evade some of the biggies: like Europe. If you want more info, the Guardian did a nice summary.

The answers were few and far between, and at one point Cameron had to change laptops during the Q&A. Perhaps this is why he answered way less questions than Gordon Brown in the same amount of time. I can't blame him though, live chatting is definitely a female multi-tasking thing.

Did this help him? Cyber mums are a tough crowd, but it did show a human side. And who doesn't love oat cakes with cheese?

This proves it, I have zero influence over my children

Have you ever spoken to your children over the phone? I did this recently while I was in Paris, and it was a real eye opener. It turns out the little girls on the other end of the phone have English accents -- middle class, home county ones to be exact. 

How did that happen? They certainly didn't get it from me -- even after living here a gazillion years, I still sound like Caroline from Bay Watch. Hubby talks with a Scottish brogue.

We've had Mexican maids, Brazilian nannies, and Polish housecleaners and it makes me feel slightly better that they obviously didn't have any influence either.

Do your children sound like you?

Photo credit

Bonfire etiquette?

Temperatures reached nearly 14C degree today, which is very unusual for a Sunday so close to Christmas. We were at a friend's for lunch, and were so taken by the unseasonable weather that we unanimously made a last minute decision to eat outside in the Autumn sun. As we tucked into our roast, the distinct tarry smell of a bonfire made it's way over the wall. Then ashes started to land in the mash...

I happen to love bonfires and don't mind the musty smell. However it turns out that those particular neighbours have complained in the past about others having bonfires.

So, I wonder, what is bonfire etiquette? When is it OK to smoke your neighbours out, and when is it not? Advice please.

Photo credit

Do you have what it takes ... to be a dinner lady?

So, picture this scene: Four mums at my house having coffee. It's a blustery morning, leaves falling, and we are in my garden room, which is the only room I will receive anyone, as the rest of the house is a complete tip. One mum has a PhD and lectures at the local business school. One is a self-employed barrister, another an ex-Andersen consultant. I have the least impressive credentials as an ex-Marketing director. Our mission? To discuss the lunch time supervisor rota (aka dinner lady) and to induct a new mum. You see, the more mums on the rota, the FEWER TIMES you have to do it yourself.

The Isle of Wight -- a trip into the past (free wi-fi included)

This is a sponsored post.

The Isle of Wight's Tourist Board is promoting the Island as a family friendly destination and asked if the modern family would please visit and report back. Who could refuse that? I had no idea though, that on the 55-minute car ferry from Southhampton to East Cowes that I would be transported back in time. 

Head on over to my review blog to read the rest...

Playground politics: who are you at the schoolgate?

We're going on our fourth year at "big school" and with three in the system, I've met all sorts at the school gate. From the Keen Mum to the Now-You-See-Me-Now-You-Don't Mother, here's a description of some of the characters you will encounter on the primary school playground...

The Keen Mum -- With her first child of many starting the system, this mum is new to the school and her main goal is figuring out how things work. After four years of having a child velcroed to her hip, she wants to know what the heck Johnny is doing all day in that hallowed building. She attends every school function, is the class rep, does lunch duty, and is navigating her way around the PTA. Amazing as she has two little ones at home.

Apologies in advance

My Jerusalem artichokes are ready. Apologies in advance to anyone who is near me in the next couple of days!

This week in Corduroy Mansions 2...

I tried to stop reading Alexander McCall Smith's digital serial novel Corduroy Mansions 2 -- The Dog Who Came In From The Cold, but I something in me won't press "delete" when the emails land in my inbox. I am intrigued by Rupert's obsession with another woman's flat and fret that James will leave Caroline for Dee (after this week's revelation, I guess he won't). I worry for poor Freddie de la Hay (BTW -- did you know that dog is on Twitter?) Now I find myself eavesdropping on a wacko pair of leaches in the countryside near Cheltenham. This book is brilliant! And much more fun than doing the laundry, I may add.

Can you post for Madeleine?

Someone out there knows what happened to Madeleine McCann. There's a new appeal for social networkers worldwide to post this video that shows what she would have looked like at age six. If you are a blogger, please help spread this message and post this video on your site.

British Mummy Blogger photo shoot for Red Magazine

It's tough promoting British mummy blogging. I had to go into London today for a Red Magazine photo shoot for a feature they are doing about my British Mummy Blogger network.

Such hard work. There were six (!) people there to fawn over us -- they did our make-up, fluffed our hair, dressed us, made us coffee. It made being a middle-aged mummy ... a little more interesting.

Mummy bloggers: We have an opportunity, let's take it

I have to admit to being a little flustered recently. All this talk around mumosphere about the British mummy blogging community getting  too competitive and too commercial. How the heck did this happen?

Money, or the misconception that money can be made from blogging, seems to be one of the drivers.  Can I just clarify one thing: THERE IS NO REAL MONEY IN BLOGGING. Did you hear me? Unless you are Dooce, your blogging intake will not get near any tax threshold. I've been in the top 10 the past year and I've made barely enough to fuel my Cafe Nero coffee habit. I make 100x more as a marketing consultant (and it takes less time). There are occasional freebies, but really how useful is a coffee mug, a wall clock, or another naff plastic toy? Some are nice, but do you really want all that extra stuff in your house?