A Modern Mother

Do you keep score?

You know what I mean. It's one the unwritten rules of parenting: a play at ours in exchange for a play at yours. Free childcare with a trusted friend, preferably when you really need it.

Of course I am exaggerating a bit here. Mothers don't really keep a scorecard with ticks on it. No, it's much more subtle and complicated than that. It's all in our heads. Or not, as in my case. I suffer from a severe case of mummy rot and have lost ten percent of my brain cells with the birth of each child (I have three children). I can't keep track of it all.

These favours are especially important to career mums and mums that work at home. I can remember one (working) mum frantically asking children over after school on a day that she was home, to rack up her points. She was completely upfront about it (I love this mum).

The ultimate work at home mother!

We are spending the summer holidays in California, I just couldn't look another English one squarely in the eye. It's great being here because in addition to sunshine on tap, we have lots of family to help entertain three small girls AND it gives me loads of time to visit old friends.

Two of my favourites are Ramona and Deepak, who just happen to own the Nicholson Ranch Winery in Sonoma. Ramona (pictured above in her "put-put" all terrain vehicle) grew up on the ranch with a herd of roaming cattle, horses, chickens and a lama. She had the foresight to plant grapes in the early 90s and when she fell pregnant with her first child, she gave up her job at a risk analysis software company to embark on the winery project full-time. When her first son was born 1995, she'd juggle taking care of grapes with taking care of baby.

My big night out

I'm writing this post on a train back from London.  The train is packed, laptop perched on my knees, typing with two fingers. Apologies for any typos, I've had a few drinks.   

As I look around, I fit right in, though I don't have an iPhone, Blackberry, or McDonald's french fries.

About a year ago, I started marketing consulting for a software company in London. It's about one day a week, which is just enough to keep my jargon up-to-date, yet little enough to fit in my mummy lifestyle.

The people I work with are half my age, literally, unless their Bilabonic T-shirts and frayed jeans are a front.

An introduction to head lice

Oh no. A sign on the door.

I dreaded these notices more than staying at Scottish grandma's in the winter, where once it was so cold I could actually see my breath escape from my mouth. Scottish grandma has a miniature wooden Swiss chalet on her fireplace mantle, a memento we had brought back from a skiing holiday, and it kindly reminded me of the temperature. Forty-two friggin' degrees. Fahrenheit. Inside the house.

We have had several cases of headlice recently – please check your child’s hair diligently.

Work and mummy rot

One of the things that people fail to tell you when you have children is about a condition called “mummy rot”. This is the fact that 10 percent of your brain deteriorates with the pregnancy and birth of each child.

I have three children.

When I was working full time, I used to try and hide this condition from my boss. I was doing fairly well until a meeting with an analyst.

It was with one of those now defunct dot com analyst firms named after a planet in the solar system. Industry analysts are a breed of their own, and this guy was no exception. In a different era he might have been one of those professors that spent their career publishing loads of headline grabbing research under the guise of "nice understated lecturer".

The New Mummy Wars

To work or not to work? That is the question that many mums struggle over -- torn between career and being there for the children.

These wars, more prominent in the US, have been exemplified with the nomination of Alaska governor Sarah Palin as Republican John McCain’s vice presidential running mate.

With five children, one only five months old with special needs, and a pregnant teenage daughter, many are questioning whether she has the time to take on such an important role, and to be blunt, whether or not she should.

I find it very difficult to juggle part-time work and three kids. I am constantly tired and struggle to get the balance right. I am in awe of any woman that is so together that they take on motherhood AND the 2nd highest post in the world’s richest economic nation. But I can't help thinking that the reality is that one role will come first.